he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
