you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
