the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
