My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
