Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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