its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
