i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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