Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
