He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
