Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
