yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
