I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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