Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
