"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
