SEEEEXXX PLEASE
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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