Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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