yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
