Having a random hookup so left but love u
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
