it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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