in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
