there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
