I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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