I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize