Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
