But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
