i was rollin on her like bob the builder
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
