that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
