Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
