If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
