i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Randomize
