I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
