In the future we'll all be gay
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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