he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
