Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
