Your face is a jimmy john
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Go christen that room with your naked body.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Randomize
