She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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