I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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