your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
