she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
