he was CRYING into my vagina
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
