If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I am naked and annoyed.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
