Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
