its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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