And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I have feelings that need drinking.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
