everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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