Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
