i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
it glows. i had to have it.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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