Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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