porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
