Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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