i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
