I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
