Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize