she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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